


By Any Other Name

by CaffeinatedWriter



Series: Steven Universe AU [1]
Category: Bully (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Steven Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-27
Updated: 2015-05-27
Packaged: 2018-04-01 13:18:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4021288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaffeinatedWriter/pseuds/CaffeinatedWriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He’s always had the feeling that he’s not suppose to be here.</p>
            </blockquote>





	By Any Other Name

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write some Steven Universe AU angst. Here it is. I’m sure time will tell how much my interpretation is wrong, but no one can prove it today so!

There’s a sort of vulnerability that comes with being the product of a bad idea.

Reasonably, he knows why he shouldn’t exist. Knows what his existence stands for in the eyes of, well,  _real gems_. Legitimate gems. He’s bad on principle, and his terrible attitude and dismissal of gems and people alike doesn’t help matters.

Gary’s a mistake. A product. Maybe not even an actual member of his species, but a cheap imitation. A science experiment monster gone wrong, like Frankenstein. Not quite the same as his creator in all the ways that matter.

He doesn’t know for sure though; the Kindergarten was long abandoned of all life when he’d had the consciousness to crawl out of the safety of his hole the first time.

The Kindergarten is desolate. It drips a feeling of utter wrongness that, even in his naivety, he knew in his gut it was a place of ill intention. But it’s his home; the only place he’d known before the academy plucked him from the street. Insisted a child like him needed an education, street rat or not.

He’s not sure if gems ever have a period of time where they’d be considered children, but he knows for certain his life experience dwarfs the fifteen or so years of the humans around him, and that alone is disconcerting.

Interacting with people is a nightmare. He just doesn’t  _get_  humans. The way they work or how they limit themselves further by choice. The narrow way they view the world and dismiss the abnormal. It’s dreadfully boring and mundane.

They think he’s weird and abrasive, but it’s just so tiring having to blend in with such weak creatures. He gets frustrated, and when he gets frustrated, he lashes out.

Gems are almost worse, the few that he’s run into in this small, bodunk town. Gary’s obviously never been to the Gem Homeworld, or outside of Bullworth for that matter, but he feels pretty confident in saying that Bullworth is comparatively a sorry excuse for a town.

The fact that there’s a Kindergarten tucked in the outskirts at all makes that pretty clear.

There’s not many gems around, and he suspects the ones that are here are primarily keeping an eye on the Kindergarten. They don’t like him though, that much is obvious, excluding Pete, who might just feel bad for him, and Jimmy, who has his own standing issues with Bullworth’s gem population.

They don’t get him, not after years and years of trying to emulate humans for a sense of normality. Before he discovered other gems but not, he notes bitterly, before they discovered him. What he knows of his people comes from instinct and what little Pete has educated him on.

The others didn’t care to educate him, to take him in during years of isolation in the Kindergarten. Why should he give up years of acting more human than gem just to make them more comfortable with their mistake?

If it weren’t for Zoe, he would have gone crazy. She doesn’t get him either, but she doesn’t presume to. Doesn’t force her perception of what he should be onto him. No expectation, but not in the way that the others have given up on him.

She is, by far, his favorite human.

Pete’s not really his friend, he doesn’t think. They’re around the same age, young for gems, but Pete knows infinitely more about gems and the homeworld than Gary could ever hope to learn, though the boy offers very little information when Gary gathers the courage to ask. Demand. Either way, Pete is extremely tight-lipped.

He doesn’t trust Gary. He knows by the way Pete comes to the academy shortly after they pick Gary up and the way he won’t tell Gary his real name.

Prior to Pete and Jimmy, he’d never heard of another gem who’d taken on a human name. It’s like a badge of shame, he figures, but it’s better than not having a name at all because you’re too stupid to know who you are.

No, not stupid. Unwilling ignorance. Because Pete won’t tell him, and if Pete won’t say, no one will.

Jimmy says it’s because it doesn’t matter. That Gary is Gary no matter what he’s called, and knowing who he is won’t change who he is. Gary thinks that’s a load of shit coming from someone who willingly took on a human name out of some desire to be a mysterious jackass.

Things were simple before Jimmy showed up. Not good, but Gary felt like he had his feet firmly on the ground. Jimmy destroys it all within seconds, with just one look at the chipped gem in his sternum, mirrored by the unsightly scar above his eye.

He knows immediately where Gary comes from. Gary can see it reflected on his face, and his stomach sinks when he realizes that his existence is such a mistake, other gems can tell just by looking at him.

But while Gary has this conflict of emotions storming inside of him at all times, he’s perfected the act of disinterested human. The little smirk he offers Jimmy is meant to put him off his guard, unbalance him a little. Instead, he gets an equally cocky smile in return.

“You’re an interesting one,” he’d said with a nod that felt a whole like acceptance.

Fusing had been a mistake. Even Gary was well versed in how fusion went, had a couple of botched attempts with Pete early on in their acquaintance. He’s not sure if fusion is suppose to be capable of such instability, but the look on Pete’s face then and the horror on his face now with Jimmy leads Gary to think otherwise.

It was just a fight. Something they did often because Jimmy liked his act that wasn’t so much an act anymore, responded to it in like. It’s an accident.

It’s amazing. Nothing like what it had been in the fleeting moments with Pete where nothing felt right and Gary felt crammed into a box. No. A cage. A tiny cage where he could only struggle and watch.

Being fused with Jimmy is like…it’s like being complete. Fusion before that had seemed like being trapped in a whole new person, and he’d hated that. Hated the very idea of fusion. He understands now.

He’s not trapped, he just is. Just exists, but with the feeling that all the holes are filled with something fitting and new and right.

But coming out of it, he realizes just how empty he is by himself, and he can’t help wondering if it’s because he’s not a real gem. It feels wrong. He thinks for the first time in a long time despite efforts to push the thoughts away,  _I shouldn’t exist_.

Part of him, the part inside that he allows to be the hurt, abandoned gem that he is instead of the pissed off human boy, wants to offer Jimmy his being. Take me and make something better; it’s on the tip of his tongue every time he shares space with other boy.

That’s a burden, he realizes. Jimmy is real, and whole, and doesn’t need Gary to validate his existence, and he doesn’t need Gary dragging him down like that.

He can’t get the swirl of anger, and hate, and why why why of Pete’s face out of his mind.

It’s the whispering that catches his attention. He couldn’t care less about the drivel that comes out of most people’s mouths, but the stuff they don’t want others to know is always interesting. Humans are fickle, and their problems usually insignificant, but the passion in which they tackle them is entertaining.

“You shouldn’t fuse with him again, Jimmy,” Pete hisses, arms crossed. He looks concerned, or annoyed. A combination that always seems to be on the boy’s face when Gary’s involved lately.

“Why’s that?” comes a dismissive answer. Gary’s stomach clenches at the tone. He can’t remember the last time someone else stood in his corner. Someone who had a better understanding, at least.

“Because…because-look, don’t make me say it.”

“If you’re going to warn against someone, have the balls and the decency to call them out.”

Pete sighs.

“He’s a mistake. You know that. You know where he came from. Just from his gem, it’s obvious.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. And the rest of them assholes too,” Jimmy says cooly. “Gary’s not a mistake. He’s the product of a mistake, a mistake you and the others made. You don’t get to blame Gary for what you did.”

“B-but he’s unstable. You shouldn’t even be able to fuse with him. He’s-”

“Don’t project your jealousy onto Gary. You’re the reason you can’t fuse with Gary. He’s not unstable. He’s not broken. Your fusion doesn’t work because you don’t want it to.  _That’s_  why you’re incompatible,” Jimmy interrupts.

Pete stutters, grasping for some reply. He’s made speechless, something Gary finds impressive. Hopkins is truly a mystery.

“I don’t want to fuse with Gary!” he settles on, flinching when Jimmy lets out a put-upon sigh.

“No, you want to fuse with me, and you’re mad that Gary’s even capable. You dismissed him because he didn’t fit in your box, and he’s surprised you. For such a smart guy, you’re pretty stupid, Pete.”

He flinches again.

“Why won’t you call me by my name? You do things like this, but you won’t tell Gary who he is either.”

Jimmy smirks, one that reminds him of their introduction. Like Jimmy knew something he didn’t, but he was very pleased by whatever it is.

“Gary is Gary. You should have taken him in when you figured out he was there. Or destroyed him with the rest of the Kindergarten gems. You didn’t, I don’t know why, but now you’re playing like he’s something foreign because he doesn’t act like you expect him to.”

“We were doing what we thought was best. He isn’t-”

“I’ve been something better than myself. Don’t tell me he isn’t really a gem.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm over [here](http://beathimbacktotheghetto.tumblr.com).


End file.
